eBay is Smart, People are Dumb

No matter how the economy is doing, I’m certain that huge ecommerce sites like Amazon and eBay will always be around, and still be killing it.

People just can’t pass up a “good deal” or a “24 hour shopping event”, or “69% off sale” or “coupon codes” or whatever. But what I’ll never get, is the way the average eBay user approaches auction-style listings.

The Listing

So for example, someone is tired of their old digital camera and they are ready to upgrade. They list it on eBay and they don’t really care what they get out of it. On a side note, this is the best way to go about listing stuff for sale online.

They decide to do a no-reserve, auction-style listing. This is where people place bids and the highest bidder at the end is the winner. They start the bidding at $0.01 to get a lot of attention. Then they figure out the shipping, and decide on $10. Fair amount. And then they list it for a week. All pretty standard.

I Hate People

The part that makes me slam my head against a metal-spiked wall is when I see people bidding on these items with days left in the auction. Why!?!?!? What is this doing for you? How is this helping you? All you’re doing is mindlessly raising the price. Yes, this is great for the seller and for eBay, but I’m writing this to express my anger towards the buyers.

My eBay mindset is quite simple: when I need to make a purchase, I first check eBay, I watch an item if it’s what I need and at a cheap or fair price, and I expect to bid with a few minutes left if the price is still fair.

However, you’ve always got these idiots that bid right after its listed, or bid every night before they go to bed, or get in a bidding war (pissing contest) with someone, or whatever. It’s pointless and makes no sense.

Why Would Someone Do This?

There are really only two possible reasons for why someone would behave this way. One is fair, one is just plain stupid.

  1. This is the only time you’ll be around a computer before the auction ends, and you don’t want to miss out on this item/deal.
  2. You have to prove to someone that you’re a winner, boast about how you won, share with everyone how much money you have to spend, or to simply show off how massive your ego is (resulting in a douchebag image).

I know scenario one happens, probably quite often. Although I don’t really get it because it’s almost 2013 and everyone has a few devices that can access the Internet 24/7. But maybe you’re broke, have no computer, no friends, there’s no library nearby, you live in the middle of nowhere with no cell service, and you just have to buy these new diet pills, and your friend Bob is in town with his amazing cell phone that gets signal everywhere. So you place your bid on his phone with the last $20 to your name, hoping to win. Ya, seems like a legit scenario.

The second one, you suck. You are an idiot. You are one of many who made me just curse to myself because of your kindergarten IQ. Why the hell are you bidding so early!?!? Be smart and wait til the end. Maybe the price will end near the same amount, but at least you don’t look like a tool.

Used = Vintage = More Expensive = Dumb

I’ve been watching a few used monopods for the past week or so and they always sell for so much and I don’t know why. I guess the good thing about these morons is they bid so high so early that it keeps me from wasting my time watching it. But then I just get frustrated since nothing is a good deal anymore. It defeats the purpose of this site. I might as well just pay full price and get a new one from a reputable seller.

And don’t even get me started on people that pay more for used things on eBay when they could have bought it new for less. You are the reason two-thirds of the population is obese. I don’t know how or why, but you are.

Dave is a Loser

Don’t get me wrong, I’d much rather buy new on some things and buy from specific stores/companies. But if it’s something that will serve me just fine being new or used, I’m gonna check eBay first. I just don’t expect to pay the same amount from unreliable-Dave with low feedback who sits in his mom’s basement all day in rural Idaho as I would from the camera store down the street. Dave may never send me my item, or it might take weeks to get, or he may never respond to my questions, etc. Sometimes, paying full price at an actual store is the best way to go.

But next time you’re on eBay, and you find something you’ve just gotta have, be smart and wait til there’s a few minutes left to bid. That is all. Thanks for listening.

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